Is my husband overbearing or selfish?
I had a roaring career until 2008. Husband has a business in Phily and in India. My husband wanted me to quit my job and help him in his business in India. I was against losing my financial freedom and my career. On top of it, I am not a business kind of person. I didn’t want to move back to India. My husband put so much pressure by making nasty calls on my cell phone, at work, called my mom in India and yelled at her that she was instigating me to not to quit my job. I finally did what he wanted. Before leaving to India on Oct 17th, 2008 he siad we would come back in 10 days after assessing the office situation in India. I was under infertility treatment at that time. I went back to my gynic and ask her to extend my medicines for another 10 days before we could go with the actual procedure. Oct 31st came, my date of departure. Flight was at early hours and this guy was so quiet about letting me go back (he wanted to fly back later). He pretended as if he forgot about it. I was shit scared to ask him cos when he yells the entire street can hear it (believe me). I was depressed about stopping the treatment. So he took me to a local infertility clinic and asked the doctor (his family friend) to start the treatment from scratch again. So one more round of injections, medicines etc. I conceived in december. This guy came to the USA in january 2009 to take care of his Phily office. Left me back here. I want to go back with him but he said it is not safe to travel during pregnancy. He would only call once in 2 days and sometimes he went for a couple of days without calling. He came back in April, spent 20 days with my during baby shower rituals and again left. After that he only came back in july 2 days after my baby was born. All the while, he made me take care of the india office. I fell twice on the stairs since the elevator wouldn’t work due to frequent power cuts. He doesn’t have a single word of appreciation for anything I did. During the baby shower trip he complained the office was messy. I picked up the broom and cleaned it. Now that the baby is born, I want to take him back to the USA. He won’t listen. He tells me I am selfish. I only think about my happiness. I am a US citizen and I want to go back with my baby. He says the baby can wait but I can go. He very well knows I can’t leave without the baby. He hasn’t gone back since july and he is planning to sometime soon. Last night when I asked when he was flying back, he said he wouldn’t until the office issue with the client is not resolved. He never gave the same importance to me when I was pregnant. He never said not until the baby is born. His parents who live 2 minutes away from the office never made any visitations, no phone call about my health, never asked me to come home. He is so obsessed with the company. He went to some seminar the other day. Came back 1:30 am and then switched on his computer. He was listening to the seminar on the web with high volume when my 4 month old is sleeping right there on the bed. I felt like killing this guy. Each discussion about going back to the US will result in arguments and fights. I get worried that one of these days he might get physical also. He doesn’t know how to treat the baby. He just holds the baby’s legs and pulls him from the center of the bed to the edge to change his diaper. Each time I try to talk to him about anything, he says I am depressed with post partum. We’ve been living at my parents place since last october. His parents won’t invite. He doesn’t want to move out and live separate. He keeps passing comments on my family members and they get irritated that he lives in our house and passes comments on us. My relationship with my mother is also straining due to this.
Please help me to deal with this guy. I am totally drained out in this relationship. I want to move back to the USA, find a job and lead life as normal. I can’t stay back here and run his business because he keeps yelling at me in front of his employees.