I have lost all respect for my wife of 12 years and fallen out of love with her. I believe it is do to the following: We started dating when we were 18, got pregnant and married when we were 21. I immediately started working to support our family. I soon became self employed and have been up until recently. I have changed careers and, while still making good money, I have am at home a lot and travel about one week a month. This career change has been my first chance in 12 years to slow down and really get involved. It has also given me time to reflect on our past. It seems as though I had been so busy that I didn’t even realize a lot of things. Over the years I have caught in a hand full of petty lies (one of which she even swore on our children that she was telling the truth before shown the proof) and a couple of bigger ones. I see deceitful behavior with her when she deals with our 3 kids. If my 11 year old daughter mentions something that may be cause for me to fuss at my wife, my wife will then say something to my daughter to effect of, "Thanks a lot [daughter's name]!" She has not been caught cheating on me and has not admitted to it. There are a couple of questionable circumstances that she has been questioned about regarding infidelity, but denies, denies, denies. After 12 years of observance and learning how she lies, I now realize that she lied about a couple of circumstances from before we were married and realize that she definitely cheated on me shortly before our marriage. I have questioned her about it because I know what her response will be. She will keep up a lie at all costs.

I inherited a built-lie detector from my father. My mom attests to it. It’s feeling that we get in our gut, it is rarely wrong and has proven itself time and time again with many people in my life.

She is a decent woman, but all of her body language, actions, ora say that she is hiding something big. She has been a stay at home mom for 12 years and does an okay job with the house work. But she doesn’t ever do anything to give herself some self gratification. Something to give her some self worth.

It is all of the above behavior that has caused me to lose all respect for her. I think I could gain it back if we could sit down and I could explain to her that I have lost respect and why and that I need to know what she is hiding and I need her to answer the questions that I have about premarital actions. But is would be disaster as she would only be hurt and deny, deny, deny.

What should I do? We have had an awesome sex life until very recently, but that is do to my lack of respect for her, I believe. She is smokin’ hot, physically though.

To leave her would mean chaos for our 3 kids, I’m afraid. My 11 year old and 7 year old have already mentioned (in joking about another subject, I didn’t ask them) that would want to live with me. But they don’t get the choice until they are 12.

Please advise.
Okay, I should add the following: We have tried counseling a couple years ago, it wasn’t working because she couldn’t be honest with herself.

We get along pretty good otherwise and our kids are not subjected to an unhappy household. I am very selfless and my wife is happily married. So there is not much effect on the kids.

The lie detector I was referring to is not an actual lie detector device. It is in my gut, just as it was in my dad’s gut. We can read lies like reading a book. Body language, vibe, eye movement, mouth movement, facial gestures, voice pitch, etc. Easy as pie, I have used it accurately on my employees, my kids, and my friends, when need be.

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years and am starting to get frustrated. My bf is 27 years old and I am 23. My bf graduated college 2 years ago and after a year of looking found a stable job with a mid-range income. He lives at home with his parents and does not pay rent/food/living expenses. His parents will often reimburse him for expenses such as electronics and clothes. His only monthly expenses are his car payment and gas. I graduated university 6 months ago. I pay rent, food, living expenses, transportation, and my student loan. I am starting to put money away for my future (house, travel, further education). In the last 6 months I have caught up on his 2-year head start financially. He does not ever want to live in an apartment and therefore says he will not move out of his parents home until he can afford his own. He says he is not ready for marriage/family until he is financially stable. We are now interested in different things (him: video games, movies, dance music me:going out, travel, future, working out) and we often fight about it. I am often upset because he will try to make deals with me to get me to sleep with him (eg. I’ll pay for this….if you….., or if you do this……then I’ll do this). I feel like sex should not be a bargain. Is this normal in relationships?

I am concerned that my relationship is going nowhere. Any opionion would be appreciated.

im 19 and i want to move to Australia, and i want to live there because first thing is first… AMERICANS SUCK BALLS

this country is so stupid.. i hate the way things work here…

and so my question is i really want to just get out and travel to Australia and i want to know how long i could possibly vacation there? like how long at a time? and i think i read its like 3 months? then after the 3 months could i go again for 3 months or is there a waiting period like a year between each vacation??

and i saw about the work and holiday visa which lasts for 12 months, and i know thats a one time deal aswell.

but also if i vacation enough, and meet a girl i really fall in love with. is it possible i can become married? and live in australia for life? and australian girls are so so beautiful, they’re accents are to die for, and i really want to move there so so bad.

im currently going to school and i want to major in a job that australians want to hire me for it i dont make it, but just wondering about the marriage and vacation rules.

like if i can vacation 3 months at a time, how long must i wait to visit again for 3 months?

and or other tips to move to australia. and currently i am working and i have ,000 in the bank.

My husband of 15 years finally admitted to cheating on me every time he traveled. We had a vow to confess adultery if any at the beginning of our marriage. We agreed that the most important thing in marriage is honesty and being crystal clear to the partner. He always told me that thoughts do matter and that they are the serious adultery. Still he enjoys vivid sexual fantasies and sex is almost boring for him without it. He is sexually an active man and I almost do all possible things to please him and keep him ashore. At the start of my marriage he came to me many times telling me of his adventures. I would be upset but forgive him later since he always told me that it was a quicky with no meaning and that he still adores me. Sex fantasies are always present and eventually we would use these quickies to heighten sex pleasure. My husband became obsessed with the idea of me cheating and he pushed me continually to do it. I agreed a couple of times. I always made sure I do it to a minimum only to give basic credibility to stories I would fake later. After it seemed that my husband stopped cheating. he would travel 5-6 times a year but would come back with stories of unfinished encounters. He’d tell me that he stopped short of committing adultery when he thought of me or our kids. Or he’d phone me from abroad complaining that he doubts his manly-hood because he couldnt do it and asking me if I still considered him a man. Happily I would assure him that he is still a very sexy loving man. I had my doubts many times but his tears and his making an issue about the reasons why he couldn’t do it like his obsession with me and his doubts about his attractiveness to the opposite sex made me shut my doubts up. Then I eventually started refusing to flirt around despite his serious pushing me to do it. After very long trials I finally managed to make him come clean. He admitted to cheating on me everytime he traveled abroad with all sorts of women. He said he never told me because I alsways handled his confessions hard and for fear I’s bug him everytime he traveled. the other reason he never told me was that they didnt mean anything to him and many times it happened beacuse he was teased by other guys or that the girl seemed unreachable that it was an impossible win to get her to bed!
I was shattered, shocked by this serial manipulative cheater. He dragged me to do things I don’t believe in in hope that keeping an active sex life will keep my husband from cheating. I see now how all he told me were manipulative lies that don’t make sense to a reasonable being. They were all means to make his life easier. "Cheating is done by mere thinking" doesnt make actual cheating a less sin, and if thinking of others is cheating why do we have sex fantasies? The vow to be crystal clear to each other meant nothing to him.
Please help. Tell me what you think of my husband, myself and this marriage. My husband who admitted to cheating only when traveling loves his family and enjoys showing his love to us and to the world when all is ok. I am a person with my life centered around my husband and kids. Without them I have no life at all. My husband says that I am the best wife and mum any could dream of but still when he is upset he is capable of making me believe that I am the worst person in the world and would blame me for every worng thing in our life. After his admittance to adultery, he "got" sick, complained that his legs got so weak he cant stand on them and say a psyctric and a neurolgist who told him he is a senesitive man and that he cant handle preassure. Because of that we never talk abou it again but he is ice cold at home and yesterday he complained that I am careless about his sickness and becoming an old woman with no interest in him, sex or life.
I hope that i get replies from as many people as possible. I need guidance. Please help me through this and tell me what should I do.
Thank you